


dungeons, dragons, and barbarians, oh my!

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Humour, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 15:54:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16768240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kozume wants to play Dungeons & Dragons like he does every week, but Kuroo - of course - has other plans.





	dungeons, dragons, and barbarians, oh my!

**Author's Note:**

> thank u to my amazing friend, miss angela, for looking this over for me! ur the bomb xo.

Kozume is very much a person of routine, so when his normal Dungeon and Dragons group are all drowning in school work, or in disease because it’s  _ that _ time of the year, there isn’t much left to do except cancel the meeting altogether. 

Kuroo, who has tuned his Kozume-radar very finely over their years of being friends, senses his friend’s quiet sadness and offers a solution Kozume would be stupid to take.

“How about me and Kou fill in for your group for your D&D night?” 

Kozume would be absolutely stupid to take that deal if the smirk on Kuroo’s face is anything to go off of. It would be a death sentence, it would be like volunteering his first-born child to an evil witch without asking anything in return and  _ yet- _

“Fine.”

Kozume is a person of routine, these D&D meetings are part of his routine, it’s how he unwinds. He rationalizes,  _ it won’t be that bad _ . He looks over at Kuroo who is smirking up a storm as he texts Bokuto and Kozume’s ability to rationalize dissipates. 

It’s going to be  _ awful _ .

-

“I brought a friend!” Bokuto exclaims as he steps to the side to show off his friend. 

“Hello Kenma,” Akaashi greets with a wave and Kenma exhales in relief. 

If it had been someone else- someone like Hinata or Terushima, Kozume thinks he would’ve run. Even if this was his house, he would have run as far as his feet would’ve taken him to escape Kuroo’s evil clutches and Bokuto’s boundless energy.

“Hi Keiji,” Kozume greets.

“I brought a gift, thanks for letting us join in your game night,” Akaashi says as he gives Kozume a bag. 

Kozume glances in it and an assortment of mini-pies in the bag

“Tetsurou said you like apple pie, so I made sure to pick more of those ones,” Akaashi explains.

Kozume smiles, “thanks, I appreciate it.”

Kuroo claps suddenly, surprising Kozume, but he doesn’t bother to react anymore. Knowing Kuroo, he was looking forward to a glare or something similar.

“Alright children, why don’t we head to the kitchen table and get started?”

-

Despite Kuroo’s complaining about not being allowed to play a giant, and the ridiculous amount of time Bokuto spent trying to convince Kozume to let him have a Barbarian who can cast the spells of a Wizard, the game quest starts with much less fuss than Kozume had expected.

Mostly because Akaashi seems actually interested in playing and doesn’t hesitate to drag Bokuto back down to Earth when he goes too far off- kind of like he is now.

“I want to battle the goblins! I challenge them all to a duel, me versus all of them,” Bokuto exclaims.

Kozume sighs, “are you sure? There’s fifteen of them and only one of you, you don’t want to enlist the help of your party members?”

“No! I’ll do it myself, I’m the ace- er, Barbarian of the team! I can do it!” 

“Alright, Koubarian challenges the party of goblins to a battle, roll to see if they accept.”

Bokuto whines, “can’t you just say they accept?”

Kozume could, but he’s kind of hoping Bokuto rolls less than a five so that the goblins don’t.

“No, I can’t, roll the die Koutarou,” Kozume says and Bokuto rolls the die sadly.

He’s had awful luck the entire quest so far. If Akaashi – their healer – didn’t have such ridiculously good luck, he’d probably be dead.

Kozume looks at the die and then thinks, well, guess he’s dead now then.

Bokuto rolled a four and he yells, “nooooo!”

“The goblins don’t accept your challenge. In fact, they’re incredibly offended that you thought so little of them that you tried to take them all on, they attack your entire team all at once. Roll for a defense check, or in Kuroo’s case, for an agility check.”

“You should’ve left the goblins alone,” Akaashi says as he rolls and Bokuto just pouts as he rolls his die again.

Kuroo’s grinning as he rolls his die, “oh well- at least Black Cat is getting out of this unharmed.”

Kuroo rolled a ten, Black Cat the Rogue barely manages to avoid his attacking goblins. Akaashi rolls a nineteen, and Keiji the Cleric successfully manages to defend himself from the onslaught of attacking goblin. Bokuto rolls a one, Koubarian the Barbarian – Kozume hates the name  _ so much _ \- is killed in the attack.

“NOOOOOOOO KOUBARIAN I’M SO SORRY!” 

Akaashi pats Bokuto’s back as the older man buries his face in his hands and Kenma sighs.

“Well, I think this is a great place to stop for tonight,” Kuroo says, grinning. 

Kenma sighs, “I guess so.”

“But what about Koubarian! I can’t just let him die- we have to save him!” Bokuto insists.

“Koutarou, we can save him next time,” Akaashi says before he hesitates, looking towards Kozume.

It’s one of the few times they’ve made direct eye-contact all night. Akaashi spent most of the night very focused on his choices and the story, making notes of things he thinks might be important to the plot and trying to figure out the best possible choices for their party. Kozume has spent the night sneaking glances he thinks Kuroo knows about but refuses to acknowledge that lest Kuroo make fun of him for it.

Akaashi is pretty, isn’t overly energetic without lacking in energy either,  _ and _ he takes Dungeons and Dragons seriously. It’s just not realistic for Kozume to not at least have a little crush.

“Kenma?” Akaashi’s voice breaks Kenma out of his reverie.

“Uh- yes?”

“I was just saying- if you’d have us again, maybe next time I can roll to test out my new revival spell on Koubarian,” and Kozume’s stomach flip-flops.

“Um, sure, if you’d like. Same time next week?”

Akaashi smiles and- well, Kozume thinks he might just be digging himself a deeper grave. He can feel Kuroo staring at him.

“I look forward to it,” Akaashi says.

-

Kuroo catches Kozume between classes the next day, his ever-present smirk- well, present as usual.

“So, Keiji, huh?”

Kozume  _ refuses _ to blush, wills his entire body to listen, but- he guesses he can’t fight against fate. 

He blushes, Kuroo cackles and slings an arm around his shoulders, “well, I set you up well then, didn’t I?”

Kozume glares, “you just wanted to see my D&D night filled with chaos.”

Kuroo’s jaw drops dramatically, “ _ how _ could you accuse me of such a thing! I just wanted you to be able to unwind and have some fun playing your  _ favourite _ nerd game.”

Kenma rolls his eyes, he doesn’t believe Kuroo at all, but he has to be at least a little thankful for his friend’s insight to invite Bokuto, and in-directly Akaashi he guesses. 

“I’ll buy lunch,” Kozume says and Kuroo’s face lights up.

“Nice! I knew you were my best friend for a reason,” Kuroo says with a grin.

“Don’t push it- you’re still on thin ice,” Kozume says and Kuroo laughs.

“Yeah, well- aren’t I always?”

**Author's Note:**

> kenma's normal dnd group is: iwaizumi (paladin), ushijima (paladin), aone (fighter) and sugawara (warlock). kenma thinks the group is pretty unexpected but doesn't mind because they get along well. 
> 
> kenma is the dm so he doesn't really play but if he did, he'd play a druid.


End file.
